


This Farce Ends Now

by megsblackfire



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Divorce, Joseph is a good dad; fight me, Joseph puts his foot down, M/M, all the dads make an appearance, as do the kids, past Roseph, possible future Roseph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-25
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-12-19 19:26:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11904597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/megsblackfire/pseuds/megsblackfire
Summary: Joseph has done his best to live the life dictated to him by the Bible, but it is time for change. It is time to start making decisions that are best for his children and for himself. The first step is to stop pretending that there aren't issues with his marriage and that Mary is welcome in his home.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a wee bit self-indulgent on my part since I have a deep love and affection for Joseph and just want the poor man to have a happy ending. Or a happy beginning, as it were. This is Joseph-centric so everything will be biased towards him. Don't come here expecting me to tear Joseph apart.

Joseph watched his children play in the backyard and did his best not to let his misery bubble up. It wasn’t their fault he felt trapped. He loved them with all of his heart; Chris’ bluntness, Christie’s bubbling laugh, Christian’s shyness when his sister wasn’t there to buoy him up, and Crish’s happy smile; they were all so important to him. But he was exhausted. He was looking after four children practically on his own because his wife decided that going to the bar at two in the afternoon was more important than helping him raise their kids.

Maybe she was at the animal shelter on the edge of town? No, he thought miserably as he leaned on the kitchen counter and rubbed his face. She wouldn’t be there, not on a Saturday. She’d be out drinking, probably with Robert; his name caused a painful twinge in his gut; and hanging on every man in the bar. Flirting shamelessly, maybe giving them a lap-dance in exchange for booze. She didn’t care so long as she had a full glass in her hand.

And there was Joseph, dutifully sitting at home raising the kids like a good little husband. He didn’t get a day off from being a parent; he was constantly running after the kids, making sure they were fed and happy and not about to kill themselves. He was exhausted with a bone deep fatigue that made him long for his younger years where he was allowed to be out after five in the evening and have friends and be a person.

Who was he now? Joseph Christiansen, cool Youth Minister and father of four. He could put on a big smile for the masses, but on the inside, he felt lost and alone, groping for shelter in the midst of a storm. There was no safe harbour, nowhere for him to settle down for the night and get some much needed rest. There was always the kids, their fears, and Mary’s growing mountain of a drinking problem. There wasn’t room for anyone but what he needed to be and what was required of him by others. He knew that one day he, Joseph, would cease to be.

He heard one of his kids shriek in pain and rushed outside. Christie was on the ground with her knee up against her chest, crying as her brothers gathered around her. Their scared faces turned towards him as he knelt down to have a look at her knee.

She had scraped it good. It was oozing blood; not too bad, thankfully; and dirt and grass was stuck to the delicate flesh through her tights. He clucked his tongue softly and set his hand on her head.

“Tripped over something, huh?” he asked. She nodded. “Daddy’s here, Christie. Let’s get that owie cleaned up.”

He scooped her up with ease and carried her inside. Chris picked up Crish and sat down at the picnic table to wait, bouncing the toddler on his knee. Christian held onto Joseph’s khakis, whimpering softly as Christie rubbed at her eyes. He got her changed out of her favourite dress and set her down in the tub. Christian hovered by the edge of the tub as Joseph filled a pitcher with warm water and poured it over Christie’s knee to clean it.

“You shouldn’t need a stitches,” he teased as he gently dabbed at the wound with a wet cloth to get any remaining dirt.

“Spray Band-Aid?” Christie sniffled.

“Do you think you need it?” he asked.

She nodded and Joseph retrieved the liquid Band-Aid spray. He sprayed a little bit over her knee and she whined that it burned. It was an unfortunate side-effect, but one that only hurt for a moment before the spray solidified against her skin. He smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

“There, all good?” he asked. She tapped her knee and he smiled. “Need Daddy’s kiss to make it even better?”

She nodded and he leaned down to kiss beside her scraped knee. She giggled happily and lifted her arms for him to pick her up. He toweled her off and she ran naked back to her room to get a new set of clothing on. He followed to make sure it was appropriate for playing in the backyard and smiled as she pulled on a t-shirt with her favourite sparkle pony on the front. She tugged her pants on afterwards, grinning happily at him as she trotted out of her room.

She was back outside a few minutes later, racing around with her brothers as if she hadn’t hurt herself. Joseph shook his head at his children’s resilience, smiling to himself. His kids were so tough. They had to be in the environment they lived in. If they weren’t, who knows what Mary’s drunken mood swings would do to them?

He paused, feeling the fury that rolled through him at that thought. What was he doing to his children, forcing them to live in the same household as someone like that? What was he teaching them about dealing with alcoholics? That you suffer their neglect like good little people and never stand up for yourself? That you accept the abuse of a person that claims to love you because of what some outside opinion might say?

No. No more. Never again.

He grit his teeth as he headed upstairs and into the master bedroom. The room stank of alcohol; this was Mary’s haven. Half the time, Joseph slept in the spare bedroom because he hated getting woken up at three in the morning when Mary stumbled home after last call. That made grabbing a suitcase and stuffing her clothing inside so much easier. He put a few other important bits of her belongings inside before carrying it all down to the front door. Two suitcases; that would tide her over for now.

He returned to the window to watch his kids, mentally going over what he would say to Mary when she got home. He would make it clear that she wasn’t welcome here and that he would not let someone like her around his children any longer. She was toxic to him and toxic to their children. He would not allow them to be made miserable by her preventable vices.

He had the rest of the day and most of the night to plan his speech. Mary didn’t get home until one in the morning, walking into the house like there was nothing wrong even though she was being loud enough to make Crish wake up and cry. By then, Joseph’s infinite patience had worn away and left him angry enough to confront his wife.

“Where’re you going?” she laughed as she waved at the luggage. “Out on the yacht with your newest fuckbuddy?”

“That’s yours,” he said coldly. “You’re to take those and not set foot in this house again. I will have our divorce papers to you by the end of the week. Until then, you are not to contact the kids in any way, shape, or form. Is that understood?”

Mary gawked at him. “Excuse me?” she hissed.

“You heard me,” he said. “Take your bags and go.”

“You can’t throw me out of my house!” Mary shrieked. “This is my house!”

Joseph smiled and lifted his cellphone, giving it a wiggle. “Watch me call the cops and have you escorted off the property,” he said. “Leave, Mary, and go dunk your head or something.”

She seethed with rage before she grabbed her bags and wrenched the door to the house open. She left shrieking about him paying for this, but Joseph didn’t pay her any mind. For the first time in years, he felt like he could breathe again. He knew she was stomping over to Robert’s yard and that he was probably about to get a nasty late night visit from the man.

He stayed up for another half hour before passing out on the couch. He woke to Chris shaking his arm, whispering that they had to get ready for church. Joseph wrangled his four kids out to the minivan and got a toast into them to tide them over until after service. They trotted in ahead of him and no one even batted an eye over the fact that Mary wasn’t with him. It was rare that she attended service with her family.

He sat in the same pew as ever and managed to enjoy the service. Usually, he was too busy worrying about what had to be done at home to really pay attention. Now, though, he could enjoy the Father’s clear voice and knowledge of the Bible. He couldn’t believe he’d waited this long to remove her from his life.

When the service was over, he herded his children back to the van before anyone could ask him about Mary. He did not feel like talking with them about her; not until he got everything set in motion. He drove home and was not at all surprised to find Robert waiting for him at the front door. The man had the decency to let him herd the kids inside with instructions to get out of their good clothes before laying into him.

“You kicked Mary out of the house?” he snarled.

“It’s been a long time coming,” Joseph replied as he gave the shorter man a dark look. “Don’t look so stunned, Robert. What else am I supposed to do when she comes home almost every night so drunk that our house smells like a distillery? Am I supposed to just smile and welcome her home like a good little dog?”

“You could have left,” Robert growled.

“I bought this house,” Joseph snapped as he pointed at the front door. “Everything in that house is there because of _me_. My hard work, my dedication, and my money. I’m not about to let _her_ destroy everything because I had the audacity to leave with the kids.” He stepped closer and set his hand on the door knob, leaning forward so that his lips were sitting just above Robert’s ear. He could feel the other man tremble just beneath his lips, clearly unsure about what Joseph was about to say. He smiled and then he went for the jugular. “You and Mary should hook up; you can bond over what terrible parents you are.”

Without another word, he turned the handle, opened the door, and walked in. He left Robert, and his guilt over saying something so cruel, on the doorstep.


	2. Chapter 2

Everyone sided with Mary. He wasn’t surprised; she was the ‘abused party’ in this situation, or so she made herself out to be. He knew she was crying to whoever would listen about how her cheating husband kicked her out of her house and away from her kids. Funny how she only gave a shit about their kids when it was convenient.

He didn’t expect any sympathy from his neighbours, but it still stung when he spotted Damien in the grocery store and only got a cold glower when he tried to say ‘hi’. He didn’t bother trying to greet anyone after that, just giving a curt nod if they glanced his way. His kids weren’t treated any differently; he would have raised hell if they were; but they knew that something was up. He’d had to go break up a fight on his front lawn because Christie and Christian had ganged up on Ernest and managed to wrestle the fourteen year old to the ground. Hugo tried to apologize, but the twins proudly said that they beat him up and that they were fine.

Joseph had apologized to Hugo, and, shockingly, the exhausted teacher had just smiled and said that he wasn’t surprised. “Kids have a hard time adjusting to divorces,” he said. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come talk. I...I have your back, Joseph. Whatever you did, you’re still a good dad.”

He had been shocked and he had been a few seconds from pulling Hugo into a tight hug and crying into his shoulder. It was the first bit of kindness that had been shown to him since word got around that he’d kicked Mary out. Instead, he’d thanked Hugo and ushered his twins inside.

Brian wandered over a few days later while he was trimming the hedges under his windows and offered to lend a hand. Joseph was grateful for the assistance and asked him to handle the giant tree in the front yard since its branches were getting dangerously droopy towards the house. Matt popped over a few times to keep an eye on his kids when they wanted to play kickball in the street. He didn’t say anything, but just knowing that he was still looking out for Joseph’s kids was nice.

He didn’t see much of the other dads on the cul-de-sac and he saw even less of Robert and Mary. He was fine with that, even if the thought of Robert made his gut twist with guilt. He shouldn’t have said what he had, but he wanted Robert to hurt. He’d wanted that man, the man he’d started to fall in love with, the man he had been ready to run away with the kids with, to hurt like he did when Robert stabbed him in the back.

Mary hadn’t known about him and Robert. Hadn’t had a clue. Because they didn’t do anything at first. They’d get a drink, Joseph would have a sympathetic ear to bitch to about Mary’s habits, and then they’d go their separate ways for the night. Then...that night on the yacht. Joseph had too much to drink; he really had a weak alcohol tolerance and shouldn’t have taken shots of whiskey; and...and then they had sex. And it was the most amazing thing he’d felt in a lifetime. He got addicted; to Robert’s mouth, his hands, those big thighs pushing his out as Robert filled him again and again, and that voice whispering sweet things in his ear. They’d started making plans to get away, to take the kids for a ride down the coast and send Mary the divorce papers after they’d landed...somewhere. Robert kept saying Florida but Joseph knew he would never make it that far before he turned around and returned to Maple Bay. That was home and Robert begrudgingly agreed.

Then, Joseph got home one night after a Youth Mixer and Mary confronted him. He had been ready to admit that he had been seeing Robert, but the pictures she threw at him were not their neighbour. They were strangers, men he’d never seen before, but she snarled that Robert told her all about it. Told her all about his cheating and his sexual appetite, how he let all these men sodomize him over and over again.

“A filthy bottom bitch” is what she had called him before she smiled so sweetly. That was when he had grown to fear her. He knew the power she had over him in that instant.

“They’d never let an adulterer like you have children,” she said. “They’d never let your buggered ass anywhere near them. You sexual deviant; what judge would give children to a monster like you?”

He’d wanted to throw up. He’d wanted to cry. She would get his children, his darling babies would be awarded to her because he was gay. They’d never give him the children. They would be left in her neglectful hands. She didn’t even remember her children’s name most days because she was so drunk!

So he’d sank to his knees and begged for her forgiveness. He’d forsaken his sexuality on the spot, promising her that he’d never do it again and that he’d be unwavering in his loyalty to her. She’d accepted it, all with that sweet smile and knowing look in her eyes.

When he went to Robert the next day, the man was _smiling_ and asking when they were leaving. Joseph’s heart had broken into a thousand pieces as he said that they were over and that he was going to work on his marriage with Mary. Robert had lashed out, furious with him. He’d started calling him names, sneering about what a terrible person he was and how he couldn’t be trusted.

“And lying to Mary about all the men I’ve slept with is worthy of trust?” Joseph had whispered, tears burning his eyes. “You are such a self-centered prick, Robert Small. Good day.”

And he had stayed in that loveless relationship for almost two more years before he found his courage again. Now, he had no support system around him. It would be easy to give in and let the world tear him apart. But he wasn’t a coward and he wasn’t weak; he would stand up before all of those that wished to tear him down and spit in their eyes.

He went to the church on one of his days off, ignoring the glares he received from the other ministers. He hadn’t lost his position and his boss had even whispered that he didn’t believe a word Mary had said about him.

“You’re a good man,” he had smiled. “Mary...could learn to be as kind as you.”

He would be lying if it didn’t make him feel good to hear. Yes, he knew that what he had done with Robert had been wrong; he never should have slept with anyone other than his wife; but that was one mistake in a grand ocean of sins that any human could commit. And to say that his love for Robert made him worse than Mary who continually flirted with other men in the hopes of getting booze was cruel. They were both in the wrong and it was best that they went their separate ways.

He knelt down in the pews to pray, bowing his head as one of the ministers wandered up and down the aisle. They ignored him, letting him pray quietly.

“Our Father who art in Heaven,” he murmured to himself. “I have often asked You if this is the proper path for me. I have always assumed that You intended me to be a devout husband, father, and minister. I now begin to have doubts. All my life I have been told to stand in Your light and follow what thousands before me have done; I see the error in that logic now. I was never meant to be a husband; not the traditional way. Mary was not a good match for me and I allowed myself to be fooled into believing it. I have endured pain beyond what most will experience in their life at the hands of their lover. When I thought I had escape, you snatched it away from me and subjected me to more pain. I thought I had done something wrong, but I know that is not true. My adultery was a sin, but the love we shared was not. No longer will I allow such shallow beliefs to hold me back. You, who are most holy and powerful, cannot stop me from loving another man. If the Devil only offers love to the tempted, he is not the cruel master and deceiver. I will hold to Your teachings only where the benefit of others is concerned. Beyond that, I will walk my own path now. I have seen the true colours of Your face and it is more cruel and unloving than anything I have ever seen. I am no longer Your lamb; I am Your wolf.”

He rose smoothly to his feet and headed for the back offices. He left his letter of resignation on his boss’ desk, along with his rosary, and swept out of the church. He would no longer allow their poison to hurt him; he would teach the love and forgiveness of a much kinder God than what his father had taught him. He would help others not make the same mistakes he had. If he could save even one lost lamb from being led to the slaughterhouse and show them the strength in being a wolf instead, it would be worth it.

* * *

 

“Dad, can we get a dog?” Christian grinned as Crish knocked his bowl of dry cereal to the floor.

“Why do we need a dog?” Joseph smirked as he went to get the hand-vac.

“They could eat the food we drop!” Christie grinned. Chris nodded enthusiastically.

“Or, you could just stop throwing your vegetables on the ground,” Joseph offered as he cleaned the Cheerios off of the ground.

“Please?” Chris asked. “We can go for later walks if we have a dog!”

“You sure?” Joseph smirked as he put the hand-vac on the table and leaned forward. “Dogs are a lot of work. You have to feed them and water them and take them for walks and clean up their poop. It’s not something to take lightly.”

“We’ll take care of it!” Christian promised. “Please?”

“Ernest got a dog!” Christie added.

Ah, yes, Duchess Contessa. The oversized lapdog that knew how to open doors. Oh, how his kids loved that massive puppy. Everyone loved that dog. She was sweet if not a little hyper.

“We are not getting a Mastiff,” he said sternly. “Small to medium, that’s it.”

“So we can have a dog?!” his kids squealed.

“Dog!” Crish clapped his hands eagerly.

“Yes, we can get a dog,” Joseph smiled. “From the animal shelter.”

The kids cheered, grinning widely at him before hurrying to finish their breakfast and get ready for school. Chris herded his siblings out the front door at a quarter after eight, shouting that he loved Joseph over his shoulder. He watched as his kids raced down the sidewalk to the bus stop, smiling as Christie and Christian hung off of Daisy’s arms as they waited for the bus.

He puttered around the house chasing after Crish until there was a knock at the front door. He opened the door as he swung Crish over his shoulder, keeping his toddler from escaping into the world. He blinked at Craig in surprise before he smiled.

“Oh! Hello, Craig,” he said. “How’s life been treating you?”

“Good, good,” Craig coughed and shifted nervously. “Um, hey, I was wondering, since I know you’re not working today, if you wanted to come for a jog with me? Or a walk; walking is good too.”

“I...sure!” Joseph smiled. “Let me get Crish’s stroller.”

He closed the door and set Crish down on his feet. It took a few minutes of rummaging through the closet to find the elusive baby stroller, but Crish was excited when he saw it. They stepped outside and Craig smiled as Crish climbed into the unfolded stroller and let Joseph buckle him in. River ‘gooed’ from her usual place on Craig’s chest, waving her little arms in greeting. Joseph gave her a quick tickle under the chin before they started walking down the street.

“Sorry I haven’t been around much, bro,” Craig said after a few minutes of silence. “I’ve just...I thought you’d want some space, you know?”

“Yes,” Joseph nodded. “I do appreciate the time to think, but I have been...lonely. I’m not used to being avoided.”

Craig gave him a sad smile. “Sorry, again, bro,” he said. “I should have talked to you first. I mean, Robert’s been spitting mad about you and Mary splitting up, but honestly? That’s the best thing you did for your kids.” His face fell and he stuffed his hands in his pockets. “It’s not easy, I know. You feel like a terrible parent for giving your kids a broken family, but it’s for the best. Better to give them a broken family than have them grow up seeing their parents mentally and emotionally destroy each other.”

“Thank you for understanding,” Joseph smiled. “I...forget sometimes that you and Hugo know what I’m going through. I’m so used to being a pillar of the community that...well, this is new to me.”

“We got your back, bro,” Craig grinned at him. “Maybe we could become jogging buddies!”

“Craig, I haven’t gone jogging in years,” Joseph grimaced. “I’m not fond of it. However, if you want to do a gym run, let me know; I love those weight machines. They work wonders when you have to wrangle kids all day. And haul ropes.”

“Joe...you have a fully automated yacht,” Craig frowned. “You don’t have any ropes to haul.”

Joseph side-eyed Craig. “What, you think that yacht is the only boat I own?” he asked. “My friend, the yacht is just the one I host parties on.”

Craig stared at him before grinning widely. “Dude!”

Joseph nodded as they continued on. They walked a few blocks, catching up with one another. They stopped in at the Coffee Spoon and Matt greeted them warmly. Joseph and him talked for a few minutes about the latest Christian rock band to hit the music scene before Matt gave both of them a sampler size of his latest confectionary creation; some sort of funfetti loaf that smelled strangely like strawberries.

They walked back towards the cul-de-sac, laughing like they hadn’t spent a month apart from each other. They paused as the spotted a familiar figure heading towards them at a mad run. Joseph handed the stroller off to Craig and caught Damien before he collapsed. The man was in tears, his mascara and foundation running down his face.

“I, I can’t find him!” Damien sobbed against Joseph’s chest. “Please...please!”

“Ssh, Damien,” Joseph soothed. “Take a few deep breaths, okay? That’s it. Now, what’s wrong?”

“It, it’s Lucien,” Damien whimpered as he wiped at his eyes. “I can’t find him anywhere! We had a fight last night, one of the worst we’ve ever had and he stormed off. I thought he went to his friend’s house, but their mother said she hadn’t seen Lucien for a couple of days. He’s not in his usual haunts and...I’m so scared! This isn’t like him! He always calls me to let me know where he’s gone!”

“It’s going to be okay, Damien,” Joseph soothed. “Craig, can you babysit Crish for a little while?”

“No problem, bro,” Craig smiled before he gave Damien a big hug. “Hey, we’re going to find Lucien,” he added. “And he’s going to be fine. Lucien’s a smart kid. He’s probably just holed up at a different friend’s house being a moody little teenager.”

“Yah,” Damien smiled as Craig pulled away. “Thank you, Craig.”

Craig nodded before he started jogging for his house, pushing Crish’s stroller ahead of him. Joseph waited for him to get a fair distance away before he looked at Damien.

“What was the fight over? It might help find him,” he said.

“You,” Damien sighed and slumped. “I...he wanted to go see you and I’ve been telling him to leave you alone. He’s still young; I didn’t want him saying something insensitive.”

“Insensitive?” Joseph arched an eyebrow.

“I have been...less than civil towards you since you separated from Mary,” Damien admitted. “I have let my fondness for Mary overshadow the situation. No matter what she says about your extra-marital affairs, they pale in comparison to her drinking problem. I am the last person that should be judging you on removing a poisonous person from your children’s lives.”

Joseph smiled and hugged Damien tightly. “It’s okay, Damien,” he said. “I don’t hold it against you. But, right now, we need to find our favourite punk escapee. Have you called Hugo to see if he’s in class?”

“I did,” Damien nodded. “He wasn’t at school and they have written consent from me to not be there today.”

“So he forged your signature,” Joseph snorted in amusement.

“He is very good at it,” Damien pouted.

“Okay, so that rules out him being a good little punk,” Joseph said. “He’s not at his other friends’ houses?”

“I’ve called around; no one’s seen him since last night,” Damien said.

“You’re going to slap me, but let’s check the church,” Joseph said. “If he wanted to speak to me last night, he might have gone there thinking I was in.”

“Maybe,” Damien frowned. “But...didn’t you quit?”

“I did,” Joseph smiled. “But does Lucien know that?”

“A fair point,” Damien nodded before he hurried back towards his house. “We’ll take my car.”

“It is closer,” Joseph agreed as he trotted at Damien’s heels.

They climbed into the car and headed towards Joseph’s old church. There was no sign of Lucien, but Joseph headed inside to see if he had stopped in. Damien looked a little uncomfortable, but Joseph made it clear that he was welcome, bowing at the waist like a gentleman to make Damien laugh and relax.

“Oh, Joseph; how are you?” one of the ministers spotted him and waved. “I haven’t seen you in a while. Weren’t even at service last week. Are you well?”

“I am,” Joseph reassured. “Have you seen Lucien Bloodmarch around? Yeh high,” he held his hand up around the center of his chest, “white blond hair, lots of piercings?”

“I did see him,” she nodded. “He went down towards your office but he beat a mad retreat after Gunther started shouting at him.”

“Why would he…?” Joseph started to ask before he groaned. “Nevermind. He saw the tattoo, didn’t he?”

“Well, he did say the kid was a devil worshipper so...probably?” the minister frowned. “Is everything alright?”

“I’m just looking for my son,” Damien shook his head. “I’m worried.”

“You have Joseph helping you look for him; he’s a real scent-hound,” the minister smiled. “I think he headed towards the marina when he left, if that helps.”

“Probably heading for the yacht,” Joseph nodded. “Thanks, Helena.”

Helena waved as they left the church and headed back for the car. Damien’s foot was heavier than usual as they headed for the marina; he almost blew a stop light but managed to stop at the last second with a very uncharacteristic swear and hiss.

They made it to the boat launch in one piece and hurried towards Joseph’s yacht. Joseph could see someone moving around below deck and smiled. He motioned for Damien to stay put before climbing onboard and heading for the door to the lower levels.

“Lucien?” he called as he pushed the door open. “Hey, you there, kiddo?”

“Joseph!” Lucien looked up with a watery smile from where he was collapsed on his bed. “I’ve been looking for you!”

“And your father has been looking for you,” Joseph said as he closed the door behind him and made his way over to sit beside Lucien. “He’s very worried.”

Lucien looked at his feet. “He didn’t want me seeing you,” he said. “Said that...I’d just make things worse.”

“Not the best wording, perhaps, but Damien was worried that you would say something to offend me,” Joseph soothed. “A young mouth and brain don’t always think at the same pace.”

“I miss you,” Lucien murmured. “I miss listening to your stories. You...you aren’t like a lot of other councillors that I’ve had to see. You listen and you get what we’re going through. And I miss your cook-outs.”

“Well, the twins’ birthday is coming up soon if you want to help with that,” he smiled. “I need someone to man the bouncy castle so soaking wet kids don’t try to jump on it.”

Lucien smiled at him and shifted closer to drop his head on Joseph’s shoulder. “You’re the best, Joseph,” he said.

“Thank you for thinking so,” Joseph smiled as he hugged Lucien close. “You ready to face your father?”

“Yah,” Lucien took a deep breath and got to his feet. “Was he mad?”

“No; he was worried and scared,” Joseph said as he got to his feet. “Where did you spend the night?”

“Robert’s couch,” Lucien said. “They were out until two in the morning and they didn’t even seem to see me when they got home. It’s...unnerving.”

Joseph frowned, but nodded. “Make sure to tell Damien that, okay? Just so he doesn’t think you slept in a gutter or something.”

Lucien nodded and followed Joseph back onto the deck. Damien hurried aboard as soon as he saw Lucien, hugging him to his chest and kissing over his forehead. He apologized profusely, crying again and making Lucien break down into tears as well. Joseph herded them off the deck and back to the car, letting the two of them talk in the backseat as he drove them home.

Damien saw him off with a kiss on the cheek and the promise to help him set up anything he needed for the twins’ birthday. Joseph thanked him, winking at Lucien when he told him to stay out of trouble, and went to retrieve his baby from Craig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And more of he affair is revealed. Robert doesn't always think his actions through when he wants something.
> 
> And Joseph is every kid's uncle, okay? He loves them all and they love him and you can't convince me otherwise. Hell, Briar and Hazel straight up call him "Uncle Joseph". He is the super cool uncle with the creepy twins.


	3. Chapter 3

Joseph smiled as the kids raced happily through the sprinkler. He loved throwing parties for his kids and listening to them laugh and squeal. Christian was leading the newest charge through the sprinkler, squealing loudly as the cold water sprayed over him. Christie was a step behind, her swim trunks riding up a little high on her bottom. Chris was standing guard near the gate, letting people in and out with his signature pout on.

Everyone thought it was the cutest thing to see since he was soaking wet from the water gun fight earlier. Joseph knew his son well enough to know that while the attention made him uncomfortable, he did like being praised for doing his job so well. It warmed his heart to see his boy so happy.

Lucien was doing a bang-up job of keeping the kids from climbing onto the bouncy castle soaking wet. He towelled each of them off personally, laughing as they squirmed miserably. Daisy was showing a small group of kids how to make flower crowns while Carmensita chaperoned. Hazel and Briar were trying to see who could sneak the most chips away from the table without Joseph noticing; so far they had managed three apiece before Joseph lifted an eyebrow. Ernest was brooding in the corner as he always did, but at least he was staying out of trouble.

“Mommy!” Christie squealed.

Joseph took a deep breath and went to go greet Mary. He had invited her with the stipulation that she could not have any alcoholic beverages at the party. She had to be sober if she wanted to be at the party. So far, she looked like she was listening.

“Hello, Joseph,” Mary smiled as she hugged Christie around the shoulders. “What a lovely party.”

“Mommy, come play!” Christie begged.

“Sorry, Mommy doesn’t have her bathing suit,” Mary cooed. “But I can see you’ve been having fun.”

Christie grinned, by Joseph could see the disappointment in her eyes. She hugged Mary again before she raced off to grab Brian’s hand and drag him over to the sprinkler to spin her through the water. The other kids begged for him to do the same and pretty soon there was a lineup for the “Brian Spin”.

“I’m surprised I don’t see one of your little boyfriends here,” Mary said sweetly. “Didn’t invite him?”

“I’m not seeing anyone, Mary,” Joseph replied with a tip of his head. “I’ll leave you to mingle.”

He walked away before she could say anything else. He didn’t want to talk about his relationship status, with her most importantly. His scanned the crowd before walking over to talk with Craig. Part of him had hoped to see a certain black jacketed figure in the crowd, but he knew that was stupid of him. Robert hated him; why would he come here of all places on this Saturday?

He had barely made the rounds when he spotted Mary standing off to the side laughing with one of the attending mothers. There was a full wine glass in her hand and he felt a wave of anger and disappointment wash through him. She couldn’t even go one social gathering without pouring wine down her throat? Didn’t she care about what her children were exposed to every time she had a glass of wine in her hand instead of paying attention to them? He walked over to confront her, hoping the mother didn’t jump to her defence.

“Mary, what are you drinking?” Joseph asked.

“Water,” Mary said as she took a long sip.

“That looks like wine, Mary,” Joseph sighed. “And it smells like it too.”

“Well, what do you know; Jesus is at it again,” Mary gasped before taking another long drink. “It must be a sign.”

The other mother started giggling and Joseph sighed. “Sharon, can you excuse us for a moment?” he asked.

Sharon nodded and hurried off, shouting at another mother about something to do with their kids. Joseph waited a few moments before he looked at Mary sadly.

“All I asked was for you to be sober for one day,” he said. “One day. That was it. For your kids’ birthday. Have you even said ‘hi’ to Christian?”

“Are you trying to lecture me, Joseph?” Mary curled her lip. “That’s rich coming from someone that tore their marriage vows to shreds.”

“Say what you want, Mary; today isn’t about us. It’s about our twins. And I’m disappointed that you couldn’t even be bothered to be sober to celebrate with them,” he said and turned away. “Enjoy the party. If you’re even sober enough to remember anything at the end of it.”

He walked away and did his best not to huff as he walked over to Matt to help him hand out the last of the burgers. Matt shot Mary a glance before looking at Joseph. Joseph shook his head, not wanting to talk about it. Matt nodded in understanding before he helped one of Christie’s friends spread Cheeze Whiz on her hot dog.

When he was certain that everyone had been fed, he slipped inside to get the cake. He was sad that his kids had to share a cake this year. There just wasn’t any way for him to make the cakes they wanted; Robert usually made the second one. Joseph made the ice cream cake from Neapolitan ice cream and Robert made the “mudcake”; a combination of chocolate pudding, graham crackers, cookie chunks, and rice crisps. Joseph was pretty sure the proper term for it was “sex in a pan” but he appreciated that Robert wasn’t trying to get his babies to say things like that. Sure, it was funny to hear little kids cuss, but he didn’t want to have the discussion of “what’s sex” with his five year olds. It was awkward enough having to explain the difference between a penis and vagina to Chris while his kid looked like he was having a flashback to Vietnam.

He stared down at the ice cream cake and slowly put ten candles in, five for Christie and five for Christian. He felt terrible forcing them to share a cake, but he couldn’t give them the secondary cake that they loved. His mudcakes just never turned out no matter how hard he tried. He reached up to rub at his eyes when there was a knock at the front door.

He blinked in confusion; he’d told everyone on the invitations to use the rear gate to attend the party. He wasn’t expecting anything either, so he didn’t understand what was going on. He headed for the door, spotting the silhouette of a man on the other side. He opened the door and stared at Robert as the man hoisted a pan up higher for Joseph to see.

“Move, Blondie,” Robert grunted. “The chocolate’s running.”

Joseph moved aside and Robert stomped over to the kitchen. He set the pan on the counter and grabbed five candles off of the other cake, setting them up so that Christie and Christian could blow them out together. Joseph touched Robert’s shoulder, fully expecting for him to have it slapped off.

“Thank you,” he said. “I know the kids look forward to the mudcake every year.”

“Couldn’t disappoint them,” Robert said as he turned around. “I hate seeing Christie cry.”

Joseph thought Robert’s eyes looked at little soft, but he scolded himself mentally for such thoughts. Robert was here for the kids, probably also for Mary. He wasn’t here for you, you self-centered prick.

“There’s some icing in the fridge if you want to add something to the cake,” Joseph said. “I’ll go let everyone know we’re about ready for it.”

Robert grunted as he went to find the frosting. Joseph headed outside and made the announcement that cake would be served in about five minutes. The kids scrambled to find a chair at the table while the adults laughed and kept the kids from killing one another. All was fair in love and birthday cake. He ducked back inside and smiled as he watched Robert loop something onto the cakes.

‘Happy Birthday Christie’ had been rewritten onto the ice cream cake while ‘Happy Birthday Christian’ was written on the mudcake. Robert had drawn little butterflies onto both cakes, as well as a stubby legged horse.

They lit the candles and carefully picked up the cakes, heading for the backyard. Matt opened the door for them, grinning as Robert trotted at Joseph’s heels. They started singing ‘Happy Birthday’ as they approached and Joseph watched in delight as his kids eyes widened. He and Robert set the cakes down in front of the twins and he kissed their cheeks.

“Make a wish,” he whispered as they both took a deep breath.

They blew out their candles and everyone cheered. Robert pulled out one of his knives and Joseph playfully covered his face in exasperation. Christie grabbed the handle of the knife first and Robert helped her cut into the cake and serve the first portion of ice cream cake to her brother. Robert took over cutting up the cakes as the twins dug into their pieces. Everyone agreed that the mudcake was amazing and Mary jokingly said that there was rum in it.

“I’m not going to waste my good rum on baking anything other than rum cake,” Robert snorted as he handed Joseph a small piece of cake. “That stuff is expensive import.”

Joseph gave Robert a sideways look before popping a spoonful of mudcake into his mouth. He was not commenting on Robert’s borderline legal rum. That shit was good and he was not going to remove the one thing that Robert loved more than whiskey from his life.

“Dad, can we open presents?” Christie asked as she licked chocolate pudding off of her lips.

“Of course,” Joseph smiled. “Oh. Brian, how’d you wind up on diaper duty?”

Brian shrugged as he dropped the dirty diaper into the outdoor garbage can. “No big deal; Crish needed his bum changed and I was there.”

“Well, thank you,” Joseph smiled as he walked over to feed the last of his cake to his son. “Want to help Daddy pick presents?”

“Yah!” Crish grinned.

Joseph picked Crish up and walked over to the table full of presents. He leaned Crish over the table and his son grabbed the first present he could reach. Joseph read the card out before walking it over to Christian. Robert slipped over to the table and grabbed one for Christie, darting back to set it beside her.

“Like magic,” he teased as she playfully gasped.

The mountain of presents slowly ebbed away as the twins tore their way through them. They made sure to say thank you to everyone when they opened their gifts, but they were clearly more excited over some gifts than others. Christian loved all the colouring books, grinning widely as his pile got bigger and bigger. Christie snuggled with every stuffed animal she got, kissing them on the head as she carefully set them on the table.

“Socks?” someone asked as the twins opened up the present from Damien.

“THANK YOU!” Christie squealed as she held the pink silk socks up for him to see. “They’re beautiful!”

“Yah!” Christian agreed as he held up his pink socks. “Mine have bows!”

“That’s lace, Christian,” Damien teased. “It’s so you know who’s whose.”

“Well, Christie’s feet are bigger,” Christian grinned at his sister.

“It’s true,” she giggled.

Brian got them both a fishing rod, explaining that it was for when they were out on the sea with their dad. They did their best not to look too confused over the prospect of fishing, but Joseph knew his kids had no idea what to do with a fishing rod. He hadn’t had the chance to show them the zenful joy of open water, bait, and a fishing rod. Matt got them some new CDs, age appropriate and everything to encourage them to be creative. Craig got them mock weights to throw around instead of a football. Hugo got them signed posters of some character from a show they loved.

Robert walked over with a small package for each of them. Christie gasped as she opened her gift, lifting the hand-carved wooden eagle out of the box. Christian was gawking over his fox, turning it slowly around to get every little detail.

“Thank you, Uncle Robert,” Christie smiled up at him. “I love it!”

“Me too!” Christian agreed.

Mary set a box down in front of both of them, shooting Joseph a wicked grin. Joseph was worried until the kids tore open the presents to reveal chocolate. The twins squealed in delight and thanked her for the chocolate. Joseph leaned forward to read the package, nodding his head. Not too sugary, but he’d still have to keep an eye on them to make sure that they didn’t send themselves into a chocolate coma.

“One more present,” he said as he set a small box down in front of them. “Open it together. Chris? Come here please.”

Chris wandered over from where he was popping chips into his mouth. He stood beside Joseph and leaned forward to watch the twins unwrap the gift. They lifted the lid off the box and pulled the unmarked dogtags out. All three kids let out gasps before looking up at him eagerly.

“Really?!” they screamed in unison.

“Yup,” Joseph smiled. “We go tomorrow to pick one out. Only one.”

“Yay!” they squealed. “Thank you!”

“You’re getting them a dog?” Mary growled.

“A small to medium sized one,” Joseph nodded his head. “They’re old enough now to be able to handle one just fine.”

“And you aren’t trying to buy their love?” Mary sneered.

“Some parents don’t need to,” Joseph shrugged before he stepped forward to pick up one stack of opened presents. “Okay, kiddos. Finish your dessert and go have fun again.”

Chris helped him haul presents inside, eyeing them sadly. Crish went down for a nap, his thumb sitting just inside his lip as he curled up. Joseph didn’t even need to sing him a lullaby. When he went downstairs, Robert was talking softly with Chris, rubbing between his shoulders as the seven year old wiped at his eyes.

“Overwhelmed?” Joseph asked as he knelt down beside his eldest and hugged him. “Or feeling left out?”

“Left out,” Chris murmured. “They always get so much….”

“I know,” Joseph soothed as he held his son close. “I know. But it only looks that way because they’re twins. They both got the same amount, same as you.”

Chris nodded and wiped at his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be; your feelings are valid, Chris,” he soothed. “Which is why I have a little something special for you.”

Chris blinked at him as Joseph got to his feet. He walked over to the hall closet and pulled the wrapped gift out from behind the line of hats. He returned to Chris and held it out to him, letting him take it at his own speed. He saw Robert’s confused eyebrow arch as Chris unwrapped a whistle, but Chris gasped happily.

“Is this the same one you used when you were in learning how to sail?” he asked.

“It is,” Joseph smiled. “I know you want to be a sailor like me, Chris, and I think it’s time I start teaching you.”

“Thank you!” Chris laughed and cried as he hugged Joseph’s waist. “This is the best!”

“If anyone asks where you got it, just tell them that your dad wants all his children to know their loved,” Joseph smiled before Chris ran off to show everyone.

“And Crish?” Robert chuckled.

“Crish has been carried around all day by people that coo and swoon over him,” Joseph laughed. “Trust me, he knows he’s loved.”

Robert let out a soft hum before he shrugged his shoulders and headed back outside. Joseph would be lying if he said he didn’t stare longingly at Robert’s hair. Did it still smell like pine? Was it still stunningly soft? Was he ever going to find out or would he be left wishing and longing for the rest of his life?

***

Joseph tucked his twins into bed and kissed their foreheads. Christian was already out cold, but Christie was struggling to stay awake. She held onto his shirt for a few minutes before she closed her eyes and fell asleep. He smiled and backed quietly out of the room, heading back downstairs where Robert was waiting.

He’d gotten into the liquor cabinet, naturally, and was nursing a glass of whiskey. Joseph let out a soft sigh as he sat down at the island and watched Robert for a moment. He knew that Robert enjoyed silence and he had learned to enjoy it too. Now, however, he had some things to say.

“Thank you for bringing that cake,” he said. “The twins loved it. I’d told them not to expect it this year on account of everything that’s going on, so you really made their day.”

Robert glanced at him and tapped his finger against the island. “Did it make your day too?” he asked.

“It did,” Joseph smiled. “I wasn’t expecting it.”

“Good,” Robert snorted before he leaned forward. “Because as much as I love your kids, I wanted you to be happy more.”

Joseph frowned. “Robert, what are you…?”

“Fuck, you’re dense,” Robert growled. “I still love you, you fucking bastard.”

“Language, please,” Joseph said on reflex before he looked away. “And you sure have a weird way of showing that, Robert.”

“What do you expect me to do? Be sweet and loving while Mary’s standing there?” he demanded.

“You don’t have to be an as...a jerk,” Joseph corrected himself and shook his head. “I trusted you.”

“I fucked up,” Robert said softly. “I fucked up thinking that she was going to throw you out. I didn’t think that she was going to blackmail you. I’m so sorry, Joseph.”

“You should be,” Joseph growled. “I trusted you and you turned around and told her I was seeing a whole slew of men. What were you thinking?”

“That I could make the break-up easier for you,” Robert glared at him.

“Easier? How does lying to her make it easier?” he demanded. “She would have taken my babies, Robert. I never would have seen them again. Do you know what method she would have used to get the courts against me?”

“Joseph, I….”

“Sexual deviancy,” Joseph felt tears burning his eyes. “She would have used my sexuality against me. Turned me into an unfit father because I take it up the ass. I never would have seen them again. They would have been handed over to her because a drunk is better than a sodomizer.”

Robert stared at him before he lowered his head. “I...I didn’t think….”

“No, you didn’t,” Joseph shook his head. “You never do when you drink.”

Robert pushed his glass away and dropped his head into his hands. Joseph wanted to believe that he was regretting his actions, but he couldn’t remember a time where Robert felt guilt over anything. Part of him wished he was that confident in himself to never regret his actions. But he had a lifetime of guilt-tripping drilled into his being. There was no escaping from it.

“Joseph,” Robert said after a few minutes of silence. “I hurt you. I hurt you and I can’t take what I did back. I...I want to make it up to you, but I’m not sure if I can.”

“I don’t know if you can either,” Joseph said. “But I hurt you too. I...I’m sorry for what I said that day when you came to confront me about throwing Mary out. I shouldn’t have said that. It was wrong. You...made mistakes, but you aren’t a terrible father.”

Robert’s face contorted and he looked away. “No,” he said. “I was. I...I was so mad when you said that to me. But...you were right. I was a terrible father to Val. I neglected her. She practically grew up without a father with how I acted. I...took some time to think about what I did. What I could do. She’s...coming to visit next week. We...I hope to reconcile with her. Fix what I’ve done however long it takes.”

“I wish you luck,” Joseph replied. “I don’t know how to offer advice aside from telling you to listen to what she has to say. She’s not a delusional child waking up from a night terror. She’s a grown woman that’s had time to think about what you did to her and how it affected her life.”

“Thanks,” Robert glanced at him before he got to his feet. “If...you want to talk...you know where I am.”

“I do,” Joseph said as he stood up to lock the door behind Robert. “Say hi to Mary for me.”

“Mary isn’t staying with me anymore,” Robert said. “She’s somewhere else. Don’t know where. Probably one of her lady friends.”

“That’s comforting,” Joseph frowned as Robert opened the door. “Rest well.”

Robert paused and turned around. He watched Joseph for a moment before stepping close and kissing him. Joseph’s stomach tried to escape through his chest and he stepped into the kiss, pulling Robert closer to him. His mouth opened eagerly, pushing against Robert’s lips as he pressed Robert against the suddenly closed door. Robert grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him closer, dragging his fingers up over his shoulders.

“You still want me,” he whispered as they pulled away to breathe. “Joseph.”

“I won’t be hurt again,” Joseph said as he tried to pull away.

“You won’t be,” Robert whispered. “I’m going to get cleaned up. I’m going to get my shit together. I’m going to be the partner I never was for Marilyn and the father that I failed to be for Val. Please...wait for me.”

Joseph shook his head. “You have a long way to go to prove that, Robert,” he said. “But....I think you can do it.”

Robert smiled as he managed to get the door open again. “I’m going to surprise the shit out of you,” he teased before he left.

Joseph started at the door for a long time before he locked it and headed to bed. Could Robert really be trusted after what he did? Could Joseph be trusted? Were either of them any good for each other or would it be like him and Mary all over again? He got changed out of his clothing and crawled into bed, hiding his face in the pillow.

Did he even have any right to be hopeful that Robert would clean up his act when he’d kicked Mary out over the same thing? Wasn’t that hypocritical of him? Did he even deserve to be happy anymore?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parties make everything better. Sort of. Not really, but at least the kids are happy.


	4. Chapter 4

Damien smiled as Joseph herded his children into the animal shelter. They’d already discussed the type of dog he wanted for the kids; something good with kids and in the small to medium range that was not overly hyper. The kids were happily chattering as they followed Damien to the back of the shelter. They wanted something too big for their house and way outside of their ability to handle; this was why Daddy had the last say in the dog.

The room exploded with barking as they stepped in. Dogs of every shape and size rushed forward to greet them, wagging their tails and whimpering happily as they all tried to kiss the kids at once. Chris retreated behind Joseph, his eyes wide as his siblings let the dogs swarm them. Joseph knelt down and hugged his son close, smiling at him.

“Too much?” he asked. Chris nodded. “Damien, is there a nice, quiet spot for Chris to relax in?”

“Oh, yes,” Damien nodded. “Uh, second door on the left...unless you’re allergic to cats?”

“We aren’t,” Joseph smiled. “Watch the kids for a few minutes?”

Damien nodded and smiled, kneeling down to pick up the dachshund that wanted to give Christie kisses but was too short to reach. Joseph walked Chris down the hallway to the cat room and let them in. The cats immediately started meowing in greeting, but they were much quieter than the dogs. Chris walked forward in awe, turning slowly on the spot.

“Dad...look at all of them,” he said.

“That is a lot of kitties,” Joseph agreed.

Chris sat down and the swarm of cats rushed forward. They rubbed against him, purring and demanding pets as they flopped onto their side. Joseph smiled as Chris pointedly avoided petting any bellies as he slowly pet over the cats. An old black cat rubbed against Chris’ body, settling down in his lap to gently start cleaning his face. One yellow eyes watched Chris as he giggled and gently scratched over the cat’s cheeks.

“Everything alright?” Damien asked as he poked his head into the room. “Lucien’s looking after the kids,” he added.

“I might need to refine that search,” Joseph said quietly. “The dog also has to be good with cats.”

Damien smiled at him and reassured him that the animals were taught to cohabitate with each other to improve their chances of being adopted. Chris stood up with the one-eyed black cat in his arms and turned towards Joseph. He started to open his mouth and Joseph smiled and nodded.

Chris’ eyes started to tear up and he buried his face in the black cat’s fur. He carried his new friend back out to the waiting room where Damien helped him fill in the adoption forms.

“His name’s Lucifer,” Damien smirked.

“Of course,” Joseph laughed. “Oh, did you three find one you liked?”

Christie smiled as she held tightly to the leash of a gray and tawny mutt. Joseph smiled as it walked calmly beside her, its stubby little tail wagging happily. Someone was very excited to finally get to go home to a loving family.

“His name’s Biscuit,” Christie giggled.

“How adorable,” Joseph smiled as he knelt down. “Hello, Biscuit. You ready to come home with us?”

The stubby tail wagged faster and Biscuit let out a soft whine. Joseph ruffled his fingers through the short, wiry fur before he stood up to finish signing the adoption papers. Chris was holding tightly onto Lucifer, smiling as Biscuit sniffed over him curiously. Crish let out a soft, angry huff and Joseph scooped him up before he started throwing a tantrum.

“Thank you so much, Damien,” he said. “This means the world to the kids.”

“Thank you for giving two animals a loving home,” Damien smiled.

“Take good care of them,” Lucien said. “And don’t let them fight.”

“We won’t!” the kids shouted in unison before hurrying out to the van.

Joseph waved and followed his kids out, humming softly as Christian and Christie coaxed Biscuit up into the backseat. He got the kids strapped into their carseats and carefully set Lucifer on the floor so that he wasn’t compromising Chris’ safety.

***

Lucifer sat quietly in the shopping cart as Joseph walked with his kids through the pet supply store. Biscuit already had a new toy picked out and was holding it delicately in his mouth. Chris was arguing with Christian about what colour collar to get Lucifer so that it showed up against his black fur.

“I’m not getting pink,” Chris said. “He’ll blend in with Dad’s closet.”

Joseph looked down at his pink polo shirt and frowned. “Hey, it’s not that bad,” he teased.

“Get yellow!” Christie said as she held onto Joseph’s belt loop. “It’ll match his eye!”

Chris frowned before he walked over to the cat collars and picked up a bright green one. “This one,” he said.

“That’ll look nice,” Joseph agreed as he went to grab cat litter and a litter box. “You think of what to put on his collar?”

“His name,” Chris said. “And ‘I sneaked past my daddy; here’s the number to call him’.”

“Cute,” Joseph smiled as he set the items in the cart. “Christie, sweetie, don’t pull on Crish’s feet, okay?”

Christie smiled sheepishly before turning around. “Maxwell!” she squealed.

Brian looked up from where he was checking out prices on dog food and grinned. “Well, hey there,” he said as he walked over, Maxwell trotting happily at his heels. “So you got your dog, huh? He’s a cutie.”

“His name’s Biscuit,” Christian said happily.

“Now isn’t that...Joe...you have a cat,” Brian’s eyes snapped to Lucifer. “There is a cat in your cart.”

“He’s mine,” Chris said and crossed his arms over his chest.

“They bonded immediately,” Joseph smiled. “We’ll just get him a scratching post and teach him not to claw the furniture.”

“If you’re sure,” Brian scratched his head. “What’s his name?”

“Lucifer,” Joseph smirked. “I’m letting Lucifer into my house.”

Brian stared at him before he grinned widely and threw his head back to laugh. Joseph chuckled with him before saying his good-byes and continuing on to get the rest of Lucifer’s supplies.

After a few quick Google searches to see what would be best for their unexpected cat, they were ready for the check-out. The cashier told them how cute their pets were and offered to show them how the tag machine worked after Joseph had paid for everything. She walked the kids through the process, smiling at how enthusiastic they were. Joseph helped thread the tags onto the collars and set both of them in place.

Lucifer started purring immediately, bumping his head against Joseph’s hand for attention. Joseph scratched behind the cat’s ears before he pushed the cart full of cat supplies out towards the van.

***

“Chris, bedtime,” Joseph called as he pushed the door to his son’s room open. “Oh, are you reading to Lucifer?”

Chris nodded and set the book down on his nightstand. “He really likes Crookshanks!” he said happily.

“Well, I’m glad; Crookshanks is a smart cat,” Joseph said as he sat down on the bed. “Although, a certain kitty has his own bed he could be sleeping in.”

Lucifer gave Joseph a look with his one yellow eye and started cleaning his paw. Joseph chuckled as he stroked behind the cat’s ears; such a sassy little darling. He was going to fit into the family just fine. He leaned forward and kissed Chris’ forehead.

“Get some sleep,” he said. “You need to be up bright and early for school. Don’t worry; I’ll look after Lucifer.”

“Luci can look after himself, Dad,” Chris smiled as he snuggled down into his bed. “He’s a tough tom.”

“Well, I don’t doubt that,” Joseph smiled as he got to his feet. “You look after my boy now, Lucifer. His life is in your paws.”

Lucifer looked at him before curling up tighter against Chris’ chest. Joseph smiled and closed the door, going to check on his twins. He smirked at the obvious lump under Christian’s blankets and shook his head.

“Now, Christian, what did you do to make your feet that swollen?” he teased as he walked over. “Do I need to kiss them better?”

“No!” Christian giggled as he wiggled his feet. “They’re fine!”

“Oh?” Joseph asked as he sat down and gently dug his fingers into the lump. “You sure?”

Christian and Christie giggled as Biscuit let out a happy whine and rolled over. Joseph chuckled as he pulled the blankets back and shook his head at the dog.

“Go on your bed, Biscuit,” he teased.

Biscuit dropped his ears and crawled off the bed towards his dog bed. The twins giggled more and settled down to sleep. He kissed their foreheads and tucked them in, wishing them good dreams.

He headed to bed after checking in on Crish. Satisfied that all his kids were asleep, he stepped into his room and crawled into bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Puppy and kitty for the kids. Joseph's going to wind up looking after Biscuit more than the kids, but he doesn't mind. He's just happy that his kids are happy.


	5. Chapter 5

Joseph did his best not to scream at Mary and her lawyer as they sat opposite each other in the office set aside for them. He’d wanted to do this amicably without needing to involve the courts. Mary had agreed, probably because she knew that they would never give her the kids and it was better trying to weasel something out of him rather than through the courts. And boy was she trying.

“I am not paying her support,” he said calmly.

“Mr. Christiansen, I’m sure you understand that Mary is used to a certain type of living,” her lawyer smiled. “In order to keep up that standard of living….”

“I am not paying for her drinking problem,” Joseph said, nodding to his own lawyer. “And Mary is an architectural engineer; she can surpass what I bring in without too much effort.”

“Mary hasn’t worked in....,” her lawyer tried to argue.

“Three years; after she found out she was pregnant with Crish,” Joseph said. “I’m well aware, sir. However, were she to submit a resume, I’m sure they’d take her back in an instant. She was a model employee.”

“You just don’t want to pay me a cent,” Mary snapped.

“I refuse to pay for your booze, Mary,” Joseph said. “And if you’re going to come after me for support, I’ll come after you for child support. It’s only fair considering I have full custody of four children under the age of ten that still require around the clock care and supervision. And I’m currently unemployed while I finish up some courses that the local Victim Services requires for a full time position.”

Mary paled, but her lawyer shrugged. “That is hardly an issue. We can simply sit on your owing payment.”

“As will we,” Joseph smiled before he sighed. “Look, I’m not here to be a dick. I want this done and over with so we can get on with our lives. You’re free to take half the possessions in the house, so long as none of them are the children’s possessions. I will have full custody of the kids until you’ve cleaned up your act and can prove that you’re not abusing alcohol. Until then, you will have supervised visitation rights.”

“You think that’s reasonable?” she snapped.

“Very reasonable,” Joseph narrowed his eyes.

“And what makes you better suited to raise our children? I’m their mother!”

“Funny how you only seem to use that argument when you think it will benefit you,” Joseph snapped. “You have an alcohol problem, Mary. That’s why you are unfit for custody at this point in time.”

“Or are you just using that as an excuse so you won’t have anyone interrupting you getting fucked by all of your sidewhores?” Mary sneered.

“I never had more than one partner, Mary,” Joseph rubbed at his eyes. “Robert lied to you.”

“And I have to take your word for it?” she sneered.

“Yes,” Joseph said. “But even if Robert hadn’t fed you a steaming pile of lies, my sexual appetite would not make me an unfit parent. Or even my lack of fidelity. That is between us, two rational adults, not my relationship with my children.”

Mary glared at him before smiling sweetly. “Fine. Then I’m taking your yacht.”

“You can take _half_ of the possessions on board the yacht,” Joseph said coldly. “I am willing to sell it and split the sale….”

“You would just jip me,” Mary sneered. “Keep your stupid boat. I’ll sign this agreement. I want this stupidity over with.”

Joseph did his best not to scream as his lawyer handed the paperwork over to Mary’s lawyer. It shouldn’t have been this much of a fight. Why was Mary so determined to hold onto him when she didn’t even like him anymore? Why wasn’t she allowing both of them to move on with their lives? It would have been better than letting these wounds fester like they were.

“I will have these filed right away,” his lawyer said as she clacked the papers against the table to get them straightened out. “Mary, Gerald, it was very nice for you to cooperate with us.”

Mary glared at Joseph as he got to his feet and followed his lawyer out of the office. He rubbed at his eyes, wondering if it really was all over. Was Mary really going to let him walk away like this?

“How’re you feeling?” his lawyer asked.

“Like I’m a few seconds away from throwing myself into the ocean,” Joseph sighed and shook his head. “Thank you, Monique. I appreciate this.”

“It’s my pleasure, Joseph,” she smiled. “The worst is over now. Worry about getting your kids adjusted and happy. I’ll handle the legal bullshit.”

He smiled and shook her hand before heading out to the parking lot. He had to go pick his kids up from soccer practice and retrieve his baby from Brian’s clutches before the kid developed a love for the scent of board shavings.

***

“Oh, hello, Luci,” Joseph smiled as Chris’ pet jumped up onto the couch beside him. “Why aren’t you in with Chris?”

Lucifer stared at him for a moment before crawling onto his lap and curling up. Joseph smiled as he ran his hand down the feline’s back and earned a long, happy purr. He returned to his book, highlighting passages that were going to be used on the upcoming test. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. It was the first test he’d had to take since he’d graduated high school. Sure, there were courses he’d picked up here and there to be able to become a minister, but he already knew the material inside and out. Abnormal psychology, though? That was a new one to him.

He glanced up at a knock on the door, wondering who would be bothering him at this hour. The kids were already tucked up in bed, so it wouldn’t be one of their little friends breaking their parents’ curfew to be little rebels. Maybe it was Lucien come to talk?

He gently pushed Lucifer off of his lap and set his textbook down on the coffee table as he got to his feet. He could vaguely make out a shape on the other side of the door; one of the other dads then?

“Robert,” Joseph blinked as he opened the door. “Um, it’s rather late, don’t you think?”

“Not even ten,” Robert snorted as he pushed past Joseph and headed for the kitchen. “We’re celebrating your divorce.”

“Robert,” Joseph sighed as he followed him. “It’s not something to celebrate. And you’re friends with Mary; isn’t that bad form?”

Robert shrugged. “I’m also friends with you,” he said as he set the whiskey on the counter. “Get that fruity wine of yours and those cookies. We’re pigging out.”

Joseph shook his head as he got a wine glass out for his wine and set the tray of fresh cookies between them at the island. Robert poured himself a glass of whiskey and lifted his glass.

“To you finally being a free man,” he said. “And the beginning of a new life for you.”

“Cheers,” Joseph chuckled as he tinked his glass against Robert’s and took a sip. “So...how’ve you been?” Robert shot him a look and Joseph laughed. “Okay, you have to deal with the small talk in my own house, Robert,” he said. “If we were in yours, I would respect your silence rule.”

Robert shrugged a shoulder and pushed his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been okay,” he said. “Val’s been helping me clean up my act a little bit. Actually forced me to do laundry at a decent time. And cook decent meals.”

“She’s a good influence,” Joseph smiled.

“I have no idea how she turned out so good when I was a shit father,” Robert sighed and shook his head. “Marilyn did more work than I thought.”

“I’m sure you helped more than you thought,” Joseph soothed. “I mean, you weren’t neglectful to be malicious. Some people just...shouldn’t be parents.”

Robert glanced at him and sighed. “Sometimes I’m not sure if I appreciate what you say or if I want to smack you,” he said.

“I’m used to it,” he chuckled and tipped his head to the side.

Robert reached out and plucked a cookie off the plate. He chewed it slowly, his dark eyes closing in contentment. Joseph settled down against the island and slowly sipped his wine. He hadn’t realized that he needed this. He could already feel his nerves relaxing.

“Mrow?” Lucifer asked before he jumped up on the island.

“Hey, down,” Joseph scolded as he poked Lucifer’s nose. “We talked about this, young man. No dirty paws where there’s food.”

Robert’s mouth fell open. “You have a cat,” he said. “You got a fucking cat!”

“Volume,” Joseph smiled. “Yes, Chris got him when we got the dog. Robert, Lucifer. Luci, this is Robert.”

“You named it Lucifer,” Robert cackled.

“No, he was already named Lucifer,” Joseph shook his head. “And off the table, darling.”

Lucifer glared at him before jumping down on his lap and curling up. He scratched behind the cat’s ears and smiled at Robert as the man seemed to swoon on the spot.

“Joseph Christiansen with a cat named Lucifer,” he laughed. “Will wonders ever cease?”

Joseph rolled his eyes. He was glad that something so simple could make his friend laugh. He had gotten over the novelty a while ago, so he didn’t laugh as much as he used to. And it was sort of getting old anyways.

“So,” Robert said after a few minutes. “You’re single now.”

“Robert,” Joseph looked at him.

Really? He should have known that Robert had ulterior motives for coming and celebrating. The man always did. It was just how he operated.

“Hear me out,” Robert raised his hands. “You’re single now. You can get back into the dating scene whenever you want. You’ll never have to worry about cheating on Mary ever again.”

“I’ve already come to terms with that, Robert,” Joseph said. “If you’re looking to proposition me this time….”

“No, that’s just it,” Robert shook his head. “I...I don’t just want you for sex, Joseph. I thought about this for a while now and...fuck, I’m not good with words okay? I can spin a story like you wouldn’t believe, but explain my feelings?” He rubbed angrily at the fringe of hair just above his forehead. “Look, when we started that affair, I really only wanted to fuck you for the novelty. I had enticed a married man into my bed, you know? It was the ultimate bad boy fantasy. But then...then I started to get to know you more, actually held you after we fucked, and...and I fell in love. You’re an amazing man, Joseph, and...and I know I blew it. I wasn’t any better than Mary. I wanted you without any consideration for you or your feelings or even what Mary would do if I lied about your extramarital activities. I was selfish. I always have been.”

Joseph leaned forward, folding his hands under his jaw as he listened to Robert’s confession. He knew how hard it was to get Robert to talk about his feelings and fears, so he wasn’t about to stop the man. Not yet, anyways. They had both been selfish. They had both done something wrong. If Robert was apologizing, there was more than enough hope for him left in the world.

“But after I’d cooled off when you dumped me and stayed with Mary, I realized something,” he continued. “I was acting like Mary. I was acting like you were property. You aren’t. You never belonged to me or to Mary. And...and I only want you to be happy now. Whether that’s with me or someone else. I want you back in my life, Joseph. I can’t….I can’t stand just watching from the sidelines as you go on with your life hurting from our stupidity.”

Joseph smiled as Robert fell silent and wiped at his eye. “Robert, you always meant the world to me, even when we were just friends,” he said. “I know a hurt soul when I see it and yours was in a lot of agony, even when you and Marilyn were trying to start over. You were hurting so much and I wanted to help you get better. And then...Marilyn had her accident.

“You were so distraught, but you were trying to seem unaffected. Aloof until the final moments. I knew better. I waited until you were comfortable around me and when I asked you if you were alright, you came apart at the seams. I knew in that moment that I loved you; I held you and let you cry, knowing that in that moment you were the most beautiful creature in existence. Your emotions were so pure, your grief was so real, that I knew this was the real Robert Small. Not an aloof man that acted too cool for friends and drank too much. You are a gentle soul with a heart of gold struggling to fit into a life he thought he should have because emotions were the enemy.

“I still love you, Robert. I always will. But I need time. I’ve been with Mary most of my adult life and I need time to find myself again. Even if I know this isn’t what you want, I want to be friends with you again, Robert. I want to get to know the man you’ve become and let our past burn away.”

Robert’s eyes had teared up again and he nodded. “I want that too,” he whispered. “Being friends with you is better than letting myself waste away to nothing.”

Joseph wiped a tear from his eyes and laughed. “Look at us being mature adults about things,” he laughed. “Who’da thunk it, right?”

Robert smiled and sipped his whiskey. “Had to happen at some point, I suppose,” he teased.

Joseph smiled as he sipped his wine. “To us being mature adults,” he said after a moment and lifted his glass.

“Cheers, mate,” Robert chuckled as they clicked their glasses together and sipped in their honour.

Joseph had no idea what his future would hold, but if he was there with Robert watching his back, he knew he’d be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Ending~ with the potential for some lovely Roseph action after the credits XD
> 
> Thank you all for reading and enjoying my indulgence into "stop making Joseph out to be the bad guy".

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, one of the things that really bugs me is when people award Mary the kids. She is not fit for solo custody of the kids until she cleans up her act. Say what you want about Joseph's extramarital affairs, that doesn't make him a bad dad when he does everything for his kids.


End file.
